The 24 Hours of LeMons

PRICES & RULES

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PRICE

Entry:  $500 per car + $100 per driver + $75 for non-drivers. (Each team must have 4-6 drivers.)

This fee covers registration, track time, paddock pass, club access, track insurance, on-site ambulance crew, sweatshop-made commemorative crap, and anything else we come up with by then. Non-driving team members get all the same bennies except track time.

Not going to be working on a car or hanging out in any of the assigned pit spaces? If so, general-access paddock passes are $40 for the weekend, available right at the gate. Grandstand-only seating is offered by most tracks as well, but that's not something we have any involvement with--please contact the individual racecourses to inquire. Each track also has its own policy on children under 16 in the grandstands or paddock; again, contact the course for more info.

RULES

New rules are listed in red: These rules are highly recommended immediately. They become mandatory on 1 October 2008 and will be in effect for the Houston '08 race.  

  • 1.0: WARNING: Racing is Exceedingly Taxing, both Physically and Mentally. When driving a racecar, you'll be exposed to extreme (both high and low) temperatures; to dense smoke and fumes; to intense shocks and vibration; to very loud noises; and to a variety of other unusual, exhausting, confusing, and stressful conditions. Even if you think you're in excellent health, tell your doctor what you're planning to do; get a full pre-competition physical exam before you start racing; and establish a schedule for regular re-tests.
  • 1.1: Organizer Decisions: Organizer's decisions are final. If you don't like it, tough. Get your own race.
  • 1.2: Unsafe Vehicles and/or Drivers: At organizer's sole discretion, any unsafe car or driver may be removed from the event at any time.
  • 1.3: Refunds and Compensation for Loss: There are none. Forget it. It ain't gonna happen. You get zip. Squat. Nada. Can't get your act together? Tough nuts. T-boned on Lap One? Listen to the crickets. Abducted by space aliens? Boo-hoo, L. Ron. Jay ran you over in his RV? Then you shouldn't have been...wait a minute...okay, that actually might be our fault.
  • 1.4: Claiming Race: At the end of the competition, organizer may elect to purchase any vehicle from its owner(s) for $500. In other words, don't spend a lot on a cheater—cause if you do, you ain't gonna own it much longer.
  • 1.5: Winners and Prizes: The car which completes the most laps is the Winner on Distance. The Winner on Distance receives $1500. Recipient of the highest score in the Index of Effluency--as determined by a super-secret equation includin vehicle age, general hooptieness, reliability of country of origin, unlikelihood of success, and Organizers' whim--is the Winner on index. The Winner on Index receives $1000. Recipient of the People's Choice Award, as determined by blind ballot of all registered participants and Pit Pass holders, receives $500.
  • 1.6: Your Car May Be Destroyed At Any Time: In addition to accidents and other unfortunate boo-boos, one car may be selected by blind ballot of all registered participants and Pit Pass holders for immediate removal and total destruction. It could be your car. It probably WILL BE your car. You'll have 30 minutes to yank out any safety items you want to rescue, and then it's toast. Them's the breaks. Don't bring it if you ain't OK with losing it.
  • 1.7: Right of Publicity: You and your brilliant, pithy utterances may be photographed, recorded, or otherwise reproduced and re-used whenever and wherever the heck the organizers like (including but not limited to magazines, radio, biblical apocrypha, CinemaScope epics, and cave paintings). You won't get a penny unless somebody sees it and buys you a coffee. If you're not comfortable with that, wear a Mexican wrestler mask and/or stay home.

 

2: ELIGIBILITY

  • 2.1: Vehicle Eligibility: Entry limited to mass-produced, four-wheeled vehicles legal for US highway use at the time of their manufacture. Vehicles must be acquired and prepared for a maximum of $500 as described in Section 4. Vehicles must meet all safety standards laid out in Section 3. The vehicle's original stated curb weight may not exceed 4200 pounds. Individual waivers  may be granted; just don't ask about Peterbilts, zambonis, sidecars, or golf carts again. We already said no.
  • 2.2: Driver Eligibility: All drivers must have a valid US or International driver's license and a valid competition license (club memberships, rally licenses, and instructional licenses are not accepted). The ONLY acceptable competition licenses are: AMP, SCCA, Grand Am, FIA, NASA, NASCAR, CSRG, ARCA, WestCar, SRL, Legends/600, USAC, CASA, BCRA, BBORR, NCMA, MMRA, Barber Comp, CRA, ICSCC, HMSA, HSR, SVRA, and VMC. If you don't have one of these, you'll need to buy a 2008 comp-license waiver; these cost $50, are good for the 2008 calendar year, and are sold in the pits on Saturday morning before the race.
    • 2.2.1: Drivers Under 18: Drivers under 18 years of age must get a notarized letter of permission from their parents or legal guardians. You might also want to ask said parents or legal guardians why they'd ever allow you to do this; it probably means they've been poaching your college fund.
  • 2.3: Tire Eligibility: DOT-approved street tires only, minimum treadwear rating 190; no exceptions. Pete Stout and Calvin Kim, this means you.
  • 2.4: Whiner Eligibility. Whiners are not eligible to compete. If you believe that you might be a whiner, please check with a domestic partner, guardian, or health-care professional before getting the rest of your team kicked the hell out of the race.

3: SAFETY
  • 3.1: Rollbar and Structure: Professionally made six-point roll cage (main hoop behind the driver’s seat from the left-side floor, up to the roof, across the car as near to the roof as possible, and back down to the right-side floor; two rearward supporting main-hoop braces; two braces extending from the top of the main hoop to the top of the windshield area; two main members extending down the A-pillars to the floor at both sides; a bar at the top of the windshield area connecting the two forward braces; one driver’s side door bar; and appropriate crossmembers and braces) or better mandatory, AutoPower or better. (For a good source of premade bars, try I/O Port Racing  or AutoPower online. I/O Port also sells good, reasonably priced bars and belts and suits and other racey-type stuff.) For ratty-arsed cars that are too unpopular to have spawned mass-produced bars--meaning most of the junk we're running here--contact local racing and speed shops to arrange a hand-bent installation. We really like Mitch Parella in El Cerrito, at 510.526.5003; Chris Overzet in Discover Bay, at 925.382.1058; and David Racing Products in Modesto, at 209.522.6370, but you can get 'em done all over the place. Shoulder-harness bars strongly encouraged, and virtually necessary for proper shoulder-harness mounting in some applications. Additional diagonals strongly encouraged.
    • 3.1.1: Rollbar Tubing and Padding: Minimum tubing size for cars weighing under 3000 pounds as raced is 1.50” x .120” or 1.75” x .095”. Cars weighing over 3000 pounds as raced must use a minimum tubing size of 1.75” x .120”. DOM mild steel strongly suggested. No muffler tubing, no water pipe, no electrical conduit, etc. All tubing connections to the car must have proper mounting plates of appropriate size and thickness. Additional gussetting and bracing is strongly encouraged. (Don’t understand any of the above? See where it states “Professionally made.”) All roll cage tubing must be padded with high density roll bar padding wherever your head, arms or legs may contact.
  • 3.2: Driver's Seat: Driver's seatback must reach above middle of helmet or higher. One-piece SFI- or FIA-rated competition seats very strongly encouraged.
  • 3.3: Onboard Fire Extinguisher: Fully charged Purple K, Type 10B:C, or Type A:B:C extinguisher, 2.5 lbs or larger, must be located in easy reach of driver and secured via a proper, purpose-made, all-metal quick-release bracket. (In other words, just go to the damn hardware store and buy a good mount; don't use the cheap plastic thingy that came with the bottle.) No sheetmetal screws or self-tapping screws allowed in mounting.
  • 3.4: Driver's Helmet: Undamaged Type SA helmet, Snell 95 or better, mandatory. Type M (in other words, any motorcycle helmets) and other non-SA helmets not allowed. Don't know if your helmet qualifies? Gently peel back the inner padding to find the Type stamp; if it doesn't have an "SA" sticker or stamp, you're boned. Sharing of helmets, fire suits, gloves, etc. is exceedingly gross, but that's no skin off our nose--you're welcome to do it. NOTE: For 2009, Snell SA 2000 or better helmets will be mandatory.
    • 3.4.1: Neck Brace/Helmet Support. Racing neck braces are mandatory. Foam roll-type neck braces are the cheapest (but, naturally, also the least protective) option. Drivers with Hutchens devices, D-Cel harnesses, HANS devices, and so forth are encouraged to use those instead.
  • 3.5: Five- or Six-Point Harnesses: Five- or six-point harnesses mandatory, including fifth or fifth/sixth "anti-submarine" belt. All harnesses must be SFI or FIA approved; dated within four years of the race; and properly mounted.
    • 3.5.1: Harness Mounting: Grade 8 or better hardware and 3-inch or larger load washers are required when mounting to sheetmetal. Shoulder harnesses should be within 15 degrees of horizontal from load point to seat entry.
  • 3.6: No Antifreeze Allowed: Coolant must be completely drained and replaced with plain water--no antifreeze, antiboil, water-wetter, or other additives allowed. (That stuff is slippery--when your car pukes its guts all over the track, we don't want to be sliding around in it.)
  • 3.7: Fire-Retardant Clothing: Full SFI- or FIA-approved fire-retardant driving suits must be worn by all drivers at all times while inside the car. IF USING A SINGLE-LAYER 3.2/A1 or 3.2/A3 SUIT, DRIVER MUST ALSO WEAR FIRE-RETARDANT LONGJOHNS. Multilayer suits rated 3.2/A5 or higher are highly recommended; multilayer suits rated 3.2/A5 or higher may be worn without longjohns. Fire-retardant FIA or SFI-rated racing gloves and shoes are required. And yeah, while they may very well be superior, military-spec or firefighter suits are not SFI rated, and thus we can't accept them.
  • 3.8: Glass, Headlights, and Taillights: Each racetrack has its own requirements for glass, headlights, taillights, etc. Please see that race's specific Event Page for details. It's your job to know the spec for the race that you've entered--but when in doubt, take it out.
    • 3.8.1: Brake Lights: At all times, each car must have at least one working brake light that is easily seen from the rear. The light should be located where a mild rear-end impact won't break or obscure it. Good spots include inside the rear-windshield area; on top of the parcel shelf; and on the deck at the base of the rear-windshield area.
  • 3.9: Airbags: All airbags must be disarmed and removed, and all airbag housings must be open for inspection at tech. (Remember, airbag removal can be really dangerous--please try not to blow your damn fool head off. If you don't know what you're doing, call in an expert. Let him blow HIS damn fool head off.)
  • 3.10: Window Nets: Window nets are not mandatory. We recommend them, but if you install a window net it must be easily removed from the window frame by the driver. Please make sure that all of your drivers are well practiced at removing the net and that all net hardware is in perfect working order. The cars we run here, you barely want to get into them--so you certainly want to be able to get out of them.
  • 3.11: Zero-Tolerance on Fuel Leaks: Get your fuel system in good working order! If any track staff see a suspect leak you will be immediately black-flagged and sent to the tech shed. You will have ONLY ONE CHANCE to completely repair any fuel leak. If the leak reappears on the track, your car will be permanently removed from the race. No exceptions.
  • 3.12: Noise Limit: Our noise limit is 92dB @ 100 feet @ W.O.T. What that all boils down to is no straight-pipes allowed; please use at least one muffler or resonator. With these heaps, a single Cherry Bomb or Supertrapp is usually plenty.
  • 3.13: Nerf Bars Not Allowed: Added structural elements which extend past the original bodywork line are not allowed. In other words, no more nerf bars, wheel-protection cages, or crash bars. (Worried about your car being damaged? Here's an idea--don't hit anyone.)
  • 3.14: Battery Tie-Downs: All batteries must be fully secured via proper, purpose-built battery brackets, battery frames, or sealed battery boxes. Zip ties, bungee cords, duct tape, macrame plant holders, and other lame workarounds won't cut it.
  • 3.15: Mirrors: All cars must have at least one interior mirror. Cars with OE-type interior mirrors must also have a driver's-side exterior mirror. Passenger's-side exterior mirrors are optional. Cars with panoramic or "Wink"-type interior mirrors don't need exterior mirrors, but can use them if they like. ALL GLASS ON EXTERIOR MIRRORS MUST BE FULLY COVERED WITH STURDY CLEAR TAPE.
  • 3.16: Bad-Weather Visibility: It's your job to figure out which bad-weather visibility aids will be most useful for your car. Wipers, Rain-X, tearoffs, small squeegee-wielding children tied to the hood, etc. are all acceptable. If your visibility appears compromised during the race for any reason, however, you may be black-flagged until conditions improve.
  • 3.17: Car Numbers: Car numbers must be at least 12 inches tall and clearly readable. Numbers must be white on black background or black on white background. Any other combination must be approved in advance by the organizers.
  • 3.18: Fuel Bulkhead: The fuel-tank area must be totally separated from the driving compartment. For example, if the fuel tank is in or below the trunk area, any openings between the trunk and the cockpit must be permanently sealed with bolted, riveted, or welded metal panels. If the fuel tank can't be completely separated from the cockpit by metal panels, a metal-encased, FIA-compliant fuel cell must be used.
  • 3.19: Fuel, Oil, and Coolant Lines in the Cockpit: Any fuel, oil, or coolant lines that pass through the driving compartment must be encased by heavy-duty conduit, durable steel or aluminum pipe, or strong metal plate.
  • 3.20: No Open Sunroofs: All sunroof openings must be covered by either the original sunroof panel; a new panel securely fixed into place; or securely fixed mesh with openings no larger than 1/2-inch each.
  • 3.21: Open T-Tops and Convertibles: Arm restraints are required when driving an open T-Top or convertible.
  • 3.22: Engine Firewall: Big gaps or holes in the engine firewall must be sealed up with metal plate or OE-type grommets. If you can see through it, we want it closed up.
  • 3.23: Master Electrical Kill Switch: All cars must have a racing-type master electrical kill switch. The control for this switch should be red; the OFF position should be clearly indicated; the switch should be easily accessible from outside the car; and the switch should be clearly marked by a three-inch or larger lightning-bolt symbol. Both the main battery circuit and the ignition circuit must be interrupted by the kill switch (if you don't do that, the engine may still run off the alternator even after the battery circuit is disconnected). The switch should be located on the cowl; or on the outside edge of the dash near the driver's-side window opening; or on the deck at the base of the rear windshield. Don't put the switch where it's likely to be hit by another car in traffic or crushed in an accident.

 

4: VEHICLE PRICE

  • 4.1: Total Investment in Vehicle Can Not Exceed $500: Except for items described in Rules 4.2 and 4.3, the total spent to purchase and prepare any car may not exceed $500.
    • 4.1.1: Lame-Ass Rationalizations: Cars that "should be" worth $500 don't count; cars that "were worth $500" before you spent another $2000 to fix them don't count; cars you've owned for 20 years and spent more than $500 on during that time don't count; "it would have been worth $500 if it didn't already have a cage" doesn't count. Five hundred dollars means five hundred frickin' dollars.
  • 4.2: Safety Equipment DOES NOT Count Toward $500 Total: Safety equipment described in Section 3 DOES NOT count toward the $500 total. There is NO LIMIT on safety-equipment spending. Tires, wheels, and brake components are also considered safety equipment and DO NOT count toward the $500 total. While not mandatory, additional safety items such as fuel cells and plumbed fire suppression systems are highly recommended and DO NOT count toward the $500 total. Exhaust systems aft of the header DO NOT count toward the $500 total.
  • 4.3: Registration, Insurance, License DO NOT count Toward $500 Total: Registration, insurance, or license charges—assuming for some reason you bothered—DO NOT count toward the $500 total.
  • 4.4: BSF Factor: To prevent cheating, all cars will be inspected by a panel appointed by the organizers. At that time, all teams will be given an opportunity to describe the car's purchase and prep. If the panel believes the limit set out in Rule 4.1 has been exceeded, it will assign a Bullshit Factor (BSF) equal to one BSF per ten dollars above the limit. The entry will be docked one lap for each BSF assigned. (Ten dollars = one BSF = one lap.) Entrants are encouraged to bring all supporting evidence and make up plausible-sounding stories in advance.
    • 4.4.1: Appeal of BSF Panel Decisions: Get real. There's no appealing this decision. You're boned.
  • 4.5: Sponsorships: Conned some hardworking corp into giving you parts or cash? Nice work, but it still counts toward the $500 total. We recommend blowing that sponsorship dough on other stuff instead--hotel rooms, gasoline, entry fees, pedicures, driver suits, personal male enhancement medication, travel expenses, Freudian therapy for the organizers...things like that.
  • 4.6: Labor Costs: If you didn't pay for the labor, it doesn't count toward the $500 total. If you did pay for it, it does count toward the $500 total. This just ain't that complicated, guys.
  • 4.7: Scavenger Sales: If you sell pieces off of your car, the money that comes back in can be used to offset the initial purchase price. Just be prepared to convince some exceedingly skeptical judges of the validity of all those transactions.

5: TEAMS
  • 5.1: Definition of Team: Each team must consist of one car and four to six drivers. There is no limit on non-driving crew members, friends, cheerleaders, pizza-delivery boys, osteopathic surgeons, etc.
  • 5.2: Driver Portability: Any registered driver is allowed to drive any registered car at any time.
  • 5.3: Pit Communication: Every team must have a reliable way to signal its driver on track. A pit board (homemade is fine) is acceptable, as is a helmet-wired radio system. No loose or hand-held receivers are allowed in the car.

 

6: LOUSY DRIVING

  • 6.1: Individual Lousy-Driving Rule: Lousy driving--which includes, but is not limited to, unnecessary contact, overly aggressive driving, chopping off other cars, unsportsmanlike conduct, lack of car control, just generally being an idiot, and/or proving an undue pain in the butt to fellow competitors--will result in a black-flag penalty for Lousy Driving. These penalties will be punished as follows:
    • 6.1.1: First Individual Lousy-Driving Offense: Mandatory driver change; offending driver can't return to the track for three hours.
    • 6.1.2: Second Individual Lousy-Driving Offense: Driver loses his wristband for the rest of the day.
    • 6.1.3: Third Individual Lousy-Driving Offense: Driver is out for the rest of the season, beginning immediately.
  • 6.2: Team Lousy-Driving Rule: Teams are held jointly accountable for the Lousy Driving Offenses earned by their drivers. These penalties are punished as follows.
    • 6.2.1: First Lousy-Driving Offense: Mandatory driver change.
    • 6.2.2: Second Lousy-Driving Offense: Vehicle impounded in Pit Lane for one racing hour.
    • 6.2.3: Third Lousy-Driving Offense: Vehicle impounded in Pit Lane for four racing hours.
    • 6.2.4: Fourth Lousy-Driving Offense: Vehicle removed from race; team barred from next three LeMons races.
  • 6.3: Why Am I Upside-Down? Rule: You're upside-down because you have no business being out on a racetrack. Any driver who puts a car on its roof is out for the rest of the season, beginning immediately. 
  • 6.4: Touching a Temporary Barrier: Physically contacting a cone, tire barrier, or any other temporary structure placed on the track by the organizers will result in a mandatory 30-minute impound penalty. Subsequent offenses may be punished by longer impound penalties.