The 24 Hours of LeMons

Pahrump Roast '08

PAHRUMP DUMPS US CHUMPS (ON OUR RUMPS)
Surprisingly, It Turns Out We're Not an "Upmarket Event"

I'm a little befuddled as to why it took them three weeks to notice, but the 24 Hours of LeMons has been deemed "not in line" with the "upmarket, exclusive country-club atmosphere of Spring Mountain Motorsports Park."

I realize this is rather a shock. Certainly, nothing in the website, the event description, or the rulebook could've tipped them off that our $500 cars aren't upmarket.

Me? I blame the locals. Spring Mountain's rental guy said regular Pahrumpians had been calling to ask how to enter the race--something that's never happened before. (Locals at the country club? Hey, we've all seen Porky's. We know how that ends.)

To be fair, the same guy said later that their official kiss-off letter would cite "inability to accommodate live fueling" as the reason. "So, clearly, if we don't do live fueling, we'll be welcome. When do you want us?" I answered. Strangely, we didn't get a reply.

Well, fine--we've been kicked out of better places than Pahrump. But if you've already gotten your app in for Vegas, you're the one who's really getting boned here. I can't dress a LeMons race up for a country club, but I can make sure your team gets into AMP, Thunderhill, or another event instead. Just send me a note and I'll take care of it.--Jay Lamm